Time May be Short for the "Jimmer"

I started to look a bit farther into the Jimmer Fredette thing we’ve all been hearing about, and still can’t definitively find out what "jimmer" means as a slang word, in any American vernacular.

Jimmer above the rim

There’s a part of me that finds the word vaguely pornographic, but at my age, and in my twisted mind I find a lot of words vaguely pornographic, or will find a way to make them so. Do I need to stretch very far with this one?

"Fredette" absolutely sounds like either something a guy from France wears, or something folks at French Restaurants order from a menu, ala carte.  Maybe they ask for extra "jimmer" on their Fredette.

I also think "Jimmer" would be pronounced more like "Zeemer," and the guy saying it will be chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes, have a 4 day growth of beard, and be emitting an aroma that seemingly melds the bouquet of a 2005 Bordeaux with the rankness of week old underwear.

Still…"Jimmer?" My son says it sounds like slang for a condom, instead of the name of a guard from BYU that is leading the NCAA is scoring this season.

Maybe we can ask Jimmer’s brother TJ Fredette? TJ is known as "The Gangsta Rapper," and looks remarkably like Ben Affleck, at first glance. Let me get this straight, a Mormon Gangsta Rapper?
 

TJ GANGSTA

 How about sister Lindsay Fredette? She was Miss Teen New York as a 16-year old, back in 1998. 16 huh?  If you told me that she was just 17, I'd know what you mean.

Mom is Catholic, and after dad converted to Mormon, the three Fredette kids were given an option of which religion they wanted to convert to when they reached 18. It would seem that when mom nicknamed her youngest son (James Taft Fredette) "Jimmer," and it just stuck. I guess James didn’t have an option there?



I LUV NEW YORK!

We have a kid with a nickname that we’d ordinarily associate with some good ole boy from the deep south, and then mix in a little Catholic or Mormon decision, and how bizarre is this bio? And how does one family from Glens Falls, New York come up with these three kids? The whole thing sound’s made up, doesn’t it? Yeah, but check it all out, and you’ll see that truth is once again stranger than fiction.  Lindsay doesn't look to be fiction, at least not in this photograph to the right?  Looks pretty real to me.

Take on all that, but it’s not as strange as the following story about a probable college basketball star come the 2012 season :

I’ve been reading about a 6’3" high school sophomore guard named DeSean "Jizz" Schtupper, who is very highly ranked by most colleges, and should get a huge amount of attention by the fall. He is the son of an American Air Force couple stationed in Turkey. His dad (Hod Schtupper) is white and Jewish, and mom (Dinah-Belle Howard) is African-American. His mom’s  father was Charlie "Jazz" (or Jazz ‘em) Howard, who was a schoolboy hoop phenom from the Winston-Salem area in the late 1940’s. Howard later became a well-known tenor sax session man on a number of jazz recordings in the early 50’s, and that’s how he acquired his nickname. Apparently Jazz ‘em inspired and coached his grandson Jizz ‘em, from a very young age.

The word is that Jizz is lighting it up playing for the Incirlik AFB High School team. Incirlik is just outside of Adana, Turkey. Schtupper’s coach, Major David Hampton has said the that Allen Iverson and Jizz Schtupper haven’t crossed paths yet, but apparently Diana Taurasi has put in a good word for UConn.

Could we someday have Jizz and Jimmer in the same NBA backcourt?

Jimmer Fredette,
say it loud and it’s a Frenchman swearing,
say it soft, and it’s what Lindsay’s not wearing.

Mormon Gangsta Rapper…I swear I am not making that up.